“Just Be Happy”

The secret to surviving a plane crash, a flood
and living to be 107 years old
by Ellen Marcantano

Twenty five years ago at the age of 82, Helen Weeden decided to go to an art exhibit in Washington D.C. with a teacher friend of hers from Sidney. They boarded the plane in Binghamton never expecting that upon take off the plane would crash. Helen’s friend was among several people killed in the crash. After being rescued, she spent three months in a local hospital recovering from extensive injuries.

Then at the age of 102, she survived the flood in 2006 that devastated the village of Sidney. She had to flee from her beautiful historical home to get to safety. After the flood, it took time but she was able to return to her restored home in its original splendor after suffering extensive damage.

February of this year proved to be very special. It was the month that Hospice received a lovely gift. Helen became our patient. She was a composite of wisdom, wit and old fashioned charm. She was forthright, amusing and had a wonderful sense of humor.

Helen attained professional goals at a time in history when most women did not pursue a college education. She was born on a farm in New York.

Her mother was a teacher. It did not take her long to decide that she wanted to follow in her mother’s footsteps. She was educated at Potsdam Teachers College. Her first teaching assignment was in a one room schoolhouse in Gouverneur, New York. Mrs. Weeden accepted a second teaching assignment in Sidney shortly after her position in Gouverneur. She remained in Sidney and taught 3rd grade for many, many years.

She was a pioneer in managing the concept of a woman “Having it All”- career, home and family. She met her husband shortly after arriving in Sidney. She was married to her husband for 40 years before being widowed. Her daughter Esther lives in California and son Edward passed away on her 90th birthday. She was also a grandmother of two grandchildren and a great grandmother of three. A multi talented woman, her many gifts included writing poetry and painting.

When I first met Helen, she was sitting in her favorite chair reading Ogden Nash in Latin. She shared with a smile that although Nash was interesting, her favorite book of all time was “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott. Helen proved to be just as interesting on a personal level as was her reading material. I was curious to know whether or not she had some secret to being able to attain the wonderful age of 107. I was expecting a revelation about some magical herbs or special foods. She freely disclosed her recipe for life with a huge grin on her face, “Just be happy.” She added that it is important to do all things in moderation.

Beloved by her family and as a friend to many, Helen would use her very special writing talents to honor an individual with a poem carefully written just for them. There is an old fashioned guest book that is carefully placed on an antique podium in her parlor. The yellowed pages reflect the many people who were guests in her home and who had left their names and messages over the years. The grace of this simple practice from days gone by defines the elegance and charm of this very special woman.

The New York State Retired Teachers Association awarded her the honor of being the oldest living retired school teacher in New York State. She also received recognition from the New York State Assembly for her 107th birthday.

Helen was cared for by her beloved caregiver M&M. She had been with Mrs. Weeden for more than 25 years. They had a loving rapport that was carefully nurtured and a mutual respect that was truly enviable. Mrs. Weeden described Hospice as “Being right for me.” Her daughter Esther felt that the presence of Hospice was “reassuring.” She and M&M both agreed that it is a comfort to be able to count on Hospice whenever a problem arose.

Esther stated that she appreciated the fact that Hospice helped educate her family to ensure a working knowledge of situations that her family may find stressful. She most appreciated how Hospice supported her family by letting them know what a wonderful job they were doing as her caregivers -she knew that when doubts and fears would surface, their spirits would need a boost.

All who met Helen were captured by her elegance will truly miss her gentle spirit. For those who only know her by reading this article, may each of you embody her 107 year old secret: “Just be happy.”

Ellen Marcantano, MSW is a Social Worker for Catskill Area Hospice and Palliative Care. Helen Weeden passed away on June 12th.